On November 18, 2010 I announced the first installment of That’s Not Wrestling. It was called The Two Jims and a Baby, and it was a send-up of those live-action Disney movies. But the joke got old, and soon I had a backlog of jokes to tell. I had to make another installment, so I called it Two Jims and a Baby, and then made some more episodes. This is the fifth installment, and it’s the one that I’m most proud of.
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If you’re a wrestling fan, then you’ll be interested to know that for the first time this year, our two Jims (and a baby) are going to be appearing on the same show for a match on Wednesday 13th. This will be a big event for Jim D’ Pole – he’s only had two singles matches in his career, but that’s bound to change next week with the world on the line!. Read more about south park wrestling episode and let us know what you think.
This Is Not Wrestling #5 : Two Jims and a baby
Welcome and thank you for coming! A few years ago, it seemed the planets were aligned for a fantastic change in professional wrestling. Everyone was talking about a shiny new promotion with a TV contract and serious, athletic wrestling. Finally, the life of the modern wrestling fan, who had to eat shit and learn to love the taste, was over. Or is it? We meet here every Thursday to deconstruct the actions of stupid, dangerous and desperate people in the pro….. struggle. At least at AEW.
It’s one thing for someone like me to shout common sense at AEW over the internet and TV screen, but Jim Ross himself is a valued employee of AEW who is a valuable asset to any wrestling company, and he is not only ignored, but insulted and scorned. It may seem like I went out of my way to leave Britney/Jim Ross alone in my book Putting It Straight: AEW Review Two or nothing could not be further from the truth.
This wasn’t the first time good advice (or even someone’s opinion) had been met with anger, resentment and hysteria. AEW – well, Tony Khan – has a habit of thinking he knows best and pursuing the edgy image of pro wrestling that he is currently capable of. Having Dave Meltzer confirm and repeat everything Mr. Hahn tells him is a great way to make the rules yourself or justify ignoring them altogether.
There are other culprits in the company who can’t stand being told wrong. Matt and Nick, The Hardy Soyz/The Young Bucks, didn’t get the reaction they expected when they put on the best tag match in history last year, and they responded to their critics by calling them all toxic and deactivating their Twitter accounts. If I remember correctly, their father even raised his fist and told us to leave his children alone.
Cody Rhodes recently explained that he shares his creative ideas with a wide range of people and even involves focus groups. When asked about this, he changed his tune and said it was actually a small group of people he had consulted; no prizes if you guessed they wouldn’t think of saying no to Cody.
This leaves him as executive vice president of AEW…..
This Is Not Wrestling #5 : Two Jims and a baby
The most sensitive and loudest baby in the AEW bubbles seems to be our clumsy old friend, Kenny Omega. Having more belts than good ideas and keeping the (outlaw) wrestling world on its toes is not enough for little Kenny Cartman’s fragile ego. It’s truly amazing that he and others can’t (or won’t) understand why people with a modicum of sense grab him by his ear and throw him out on the street after five minutes in his company.
Everyone needs to be around him and remind him regularly how great he is. It’s better not to bring up the quality of a product and not mention Kenny. Whether it’s excessive finger pointing, jazzy hand holding, wishing you were Sephiroth from Final Fantasy 7 or wrestlers cosplaying, he’s number one!
Many will not be surprised to hear that I am not the only one criticizing Kenny Omega or AEW. Despite all the blind AEW fans (those willing to accept any alternative to WWE as the Holy Grail of wrestling), some people have bothered to offer constructive criticism of what could have been a top-level promotion.
Jim Cornett is one of the most famous managers of all time. Fearing his sharp tongue and biting temper, he regularly gives AEW advice, even if they won’t admit to following it….. at the end of the day. I don’t know if JC’s offer to join AEW was genuine, but he made it clear (after an hour of watching) that he wanted nothing to do with them.
For those struggling with gray areas, however, Cornett is not always helpful, as he formulates his admonitions in his usual shocking and mocking manner. For all those who have a black and white, borderline mentality, when they don’t speak: Yeah, you’re great, all you hear is no, you asshole!
In a refreshingly folksy way, Cornett spends hours a week sorting through the crap of Kenny and his friends, often criticizing them for their cheap presentation and lazy bookings – almost like here, I suppose, but in a different way and from a different perspective.
The fact that he was cancelled/dismissed by the reborn NWA is nothing out of the ordinary for him either. Whether it’s a liar in the boardroom or a blue-haired mole practicing identity politics, the CC won’t have to bow down to them.
Cornett has his own mail order business to keep his mind busy, he doesn’t need distractions and he certainly doesn’t need money. He enjoys the luxury of being able to speak his mind without having to please an employer. It drives some people crazy!
Several members of the AEW roster have argued with Cornett on Twitter, often in an attempt to get attention, to which Cornett usually responds by repeating his point, calling them idiots, and hitting back with his trademark Thank You, fuck you, bye!
Not everyone who tries to improve what a WWE defense should be has the confidence to do so, and sometimes refrains from giving advice for fear of negative feedback. But this information doesn’t stay suppressed forever, and AEW even has someone at their own comment table who is pushing his knowledge around everywhere, albeit indirectly and passively-aggressively, and not without consequences or sanctions.
Good old JR, Jim Ross, has signed a three-year contract as commentator and senior advisor at AEW for 2019. Ross may not be asked to give lessons or lectures to rookies and talents with big holes in their game, but he does what comes naturally to him and offers his wisdom when and where he can, or at least tries to.
Tony Khan and AEW wanted to emulate the Attitude Era of the WWE, and bringing in Jim Ross (and Tony Schiavone) to commentate matches would have been a good way to do that. The biggest problem is that people forget that JR is not a young man, that he has spent a lot of time training and living in the wrestling world. He knows what he knows, and there’s not much he can do about it.
Many people are surprised that Ross, a senior, sometimes has trouble learning the names of all the independent wrestlers who come in and out during the week. Plus, there are all the modern (indie) names for the old techniques that he has to try to reprogram for his brain to learn. Tony Khan’s curse of knowledge took its toll, leaving JR with his pants on the ground in the broadcast when The Butcher and The Blade debuted. Excalibur is the only one at the table who knows the two men; JR and everyone else just stare, hands up.
Compared to him, Ugly Bob seemed like a useful member of the team, and that’s probably the most important thing. It smelled like a trap to me. How do you take a talking head in a macaque mask seriously without competent commentators looking worse than him?
JR apparently can’t match another wrestling legend, the Undertaker, without becoming a plaything thrown out of the pram. Here’s JR commenting on Undertaker saying today’s wrestlers are too soft:
Because they are trained differently, introduced to the business differently, don’t sit in a car and don’t make $25-40 a night. It’s just a different game, and Takers has a good point. -Griller JR Podcast
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that statement. I think people jumped on JR because he laughs/offends/bites less than the Undertaker. He’s not saying anyone is screwed by this change, it’s just an observation. Many look at it and even agree with it, but instead of dealing with it, they react with anger and don’t appreciate the opportunities presented to them. This sacrifice story shouldn’t last a second longer!
I like to hum the Passive Aggression with Jim Ross jingle every time JR notices something stupid and admits it on the air, while of course remaining quite diplomatic. If we’re not careful, Wrestlemania could go down in history as one of his greatest works. JR thankfully has his own podcast for when he needs to vent.
I told the AEW guy the other day: You all do the same thing, you go out, you gather like quail, you stand together, friend and foe, side by side to catch a jumping idiot who jumps over and never wins, never gets the advantage with that move. The song of the saint is the catalyst for that, I think. They’d love to hear it: Holy cow, holy cow. This is great. This place, folks, is a trapeze show. -Griller JR Podcast
Instead of taking a step back, look at the situation from a broader perspective and acknowledge : Yes, you saw right through our play, it looks really stupid, the talented players on the team took it as a personal attack and suggested JR find another way to criticize them….. Probably by not saying anything.
At least everyone in the AEW locker room doesn’t have fluff between their ears.
Ross recently discussed who he thinks is the best wrestler in the world right now. JR picked Randy Orton and immediately clarified his choice by admitting that many would say Kenny Omega because he is the AEW Champion. Like most emotional terrorists, this Yes didn’t come through as loudly or as quickly as the AEW echo chamber expected, and JR wasn’t allowed to have an opinion. He will return to this topic in his podcast.
Apparently,people thought I was ripping off kenny omega…… Nothing could be further from the truth….. How many times have I told you (Conrad Thompson): There are many opinions on this question and many answers….. I don’t know how this can be such a big deal. I don’t get it. I really don’t understand the excitement of this thread, so subjective. There is no right or wrong answer here. He’s the best in the world on what basis? Hands free? Are you taking your socks off? Has the money been withdrawn? Big events on the front page? Life expectancy? What is the criterion? TV ratings?
I don’t know what the criteria is for these things. Anyone who could say to me that Randy Orton is not one of the best in the world would have a hard time winning that argument. Anyone can argue with me and say: Well, I think Kenny Omega. You have a good point. I have no problem with that. Kenny Omega is the AEW Champion. He’s got a good hand. No doubt about it, but what the hell. People are so sensitive right now, but that’s the whole tone and conversation on social media.
I’m not sure that social media is a good thing for professional wrestling today, because it only takes one little slip-up, one little forgotten word, one little missed move to turn it into a big problem. First, it gets a little predictable, but also a little boring, if you know what I mean. – Barbecue JR Podcast
Besides having to say it, Jim Ross nearly broke his neck during the Double Nothing PPV, forcing Kenny Omega and the entire product to congratulate him. Not that there’s anything wrong with putting things in, but JR knows when and where to do it right. It doesn’t have to be like this all night.
This is the last straw for me. It’s one thing to completely ignore the advice of someone who has already bought the shirt ten times. Getting mad at someone for not thinking you’re the best in the world sucks, especially when you’ve been known to do the dumbest things related to bad wrestling.
In general, there is no excuse for people not to seek the advice of their elders. Jim Ross clearly couldn’t handle all the people lining up with their dogs to ask his opinion while trying to make a point.
Fortunately, there are other veterans behind the scenes who would probably be happy to help you if you take the time to prick up your ears. AEW also includes Tully Blanchard, Arn Anderson, Jake Roberts, Paul White, Mark Henry, Dustin Rhodes, Dean Malenco, Tazz and Christian.
I’d mention Matt Hardy and Chris Jericho, but they’re both too interested in cosplaying as Randy Marsh: pretending to be old and old-fashioned, being the center of attention, and showing the youngsters all the modern dance moves and quirks they’ve learned. Their conflicting stories, fat bellies and silver beards don’t fool me.
You cling too much to your youth!
That’s it for this week. Thank you for visiting. Don’t forget to check out the Putting It Bluntly website: AEW Double or nothing on my YouTube channel. See you Monday at #AnotherWeekOfWrestling and next Thursday at #ThatsNotWrestling!
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This week, we’re watching two men in diapers wrestle on a giant trampoline while an adorable baby plays drums on a set of sticks. This is not a trampoline-based version of “Rocky.” It’s a whole new kind of wrestling.. Read more about south park wwe characters and let us know what you think.
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