As a child, I vowed to never grow fat like a clown, but have come to realize, I never had a fat clown. No, I’m not fat, I’m just fat. The last time I looked in the mirror, I was told I could have as much as I like. The only problem is I can’t eat as much as I like. I mean, I can, but not as much as I like. And, I might as well be a fat clown.
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That’s Not Wrestling #13: A Sad, Fat Clown’s Fat Tears
Thank you for joining me, and welcome! A few years ago, the stars seemed to be aligning for a major change in the world of professional wrestling. Everyone was talking about a huge new company with a television contract and “real, sport-based wrestling.” The contemporary wrestling fan’s existence of “eating crap and learning to enjoy the flavor” has finally come to an end. Wasn’t it? Every Thursday, join me here to dissect the acts of the stupid, dangerous, and desperate in pro wrestling… well, in AEW.
Chris Jericho’s whereabouts are unknown. And before any delicate little flowers have their undercarriages all up in a tangle over fat shaming, piss off! This is shameful (lack of) self-respect; even without my shirt on, I look better than that, and I’d never pretend to be an athlete, much alone a top one. You don’t have to be completely shredded, but you also don’t have to give up completely. Plus, it’s not just about physical looks; Jericho used to be well-liked by the general public, but I doubt that’s still the case if people are being honest about his more recent exploits. The longer Jericho goes down this path, the harder those suppressed tears will flow until the dam bursts.
It’s sad and disheartening to watch him devolve into a joke in such a short amount of time.
I’d been a Jericho fan for as long as I could remember, up until last year. Until about the same time, I had an Attitude Era figurine of him on my desk. Anyway, I was thrilled for Jericho when he broke away from WWE’s system and was poised to be the main star of the new company in town, AEW, after being constantly entertained by him for many years. But, before we get there, let’s recall how wonderful Chris was in the past and observe where he stopped along the road.
Despite a few instances in WWE when he seemed to be treading water or stalling a bit, he’s been at his best when he recognizes this trend and reinvents his persona without diluting or becoming a caricature of himself. He didn’t win the major awards as often or for as long as he might have, but he was always there and a prominent figure.
He was the Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-ah, a charming scamp who was a thorn in Stephanie McMahon’s side, had a list that everyone wanted to be on, and even dressed up and punched Shawn Michaels’ wife. These are just a handful of the numerous Jericho varieties we’ve seen throughout the years.
Jericho’s WWE career also included him becoming one of the company’s most successful Intercontinental Champions. Since he defected to AEW, WWE hasn’t spoken anything about him.
Jericho’s chemistry with Stephanie McMahon back in the day was as heated as it was funny, in addition to being extremely entertaining. Although they only worked together for a short period, some of the banter between them when they were at odds was really hilarious. I would have believed that faster than Nick Jackson puts his bandana back on if Jericho had ever hinted to someone that he and Steph were/were a thing.
The good times didn’t last, and when Jericho botched up his Kevin Owens angle, WWE – specifically, Vince McMahon – became enraged. It all came tumbling down at the Festival of Friendship, just before their big payout match at WrestleMania was scheduled to happen. Jericho and Owens had spent a year in a bromance together, and it all came crashing down right before their big payday match at WrestleMania was supposed to happen. When Vince found out that Goldberg was interested in returning, he reshuffled the whole deck to make room for the relic’s return. With MJF (as well as other classic/well-known perspectives), Jericho tried to replicate the friendship-gone-wrong in AEW, but it didn’t have quite the same effect.
After leaving WWE, Jericho decided to travel the world and work for New Japan. He was able to utilize it as an alternative reality for playing around with his persona since it is a different culture and civilization over there. But, instead of just abusing all of the things Vince wouldn’t let him to do in WWE, like so many others, Jericho chose to disregard all wrestling norms and limits in general, eventually landing in AEW. As I said last week, “No” is frequently the best response to crazy/stupid ideas, but there must be some balance, and there’s a reason the fence was installed in the first place! Getting thrown about by every 150lb knucklehead the boss obtains a semi for isn’t fun for anybody, except Tony, of course.
Following the lockdowns, Jericho seemed to be trapped at AEW, unable to go on tour with Fozzy and behave like a young brat who’d had too much coke and E numbers. He’d taken off his belt and seemed to be allowing The Inner Circle to develop on their own for a time, but his plans fell through, and Jericho was left with nowhere to go. This opened the possibility of Jericho being bored and releasing all of his pent-up juvenile energy by traveling with a band, drinking as much as he wants, eating as much as he wants, and shouting into a microphone with more Auto-tune than Kanye West and T-Pain combined. I suppose anything makes you feel youthful and free, Chris. This also offered Jericho the opportunity to put on some of his sloppiest bouts of his career, wrestling anybody he hadn’t fought before and anyone who had even the tiniest amount of buzz on social media.
Why isn’t anybody telling Jericho what he needs to hear instead of feeding his ego? You shouldn’t allow loved ones go on stage/a dancefloor when they’ve had too many drinks and their judgment is wrong, so why isn’t anyone telling him what he needs to hear instead of feeding his ego? When Jericho was unable to join Fozzy on tour, his inner Randy Marsh may have surfaced. Is he listening to the little kids and attempting to imitate what he hears while still looking like a real twat in wrestling? It’s not going to wow anybody in the long term; it’s simply a rehash of what Jericho and others have done before… and the most of it is nonsense.
Kurt Angle’s retirement tour of going on a stag-do with the guys in The Shield and then putting Baron Corbin over was beautifully done and very sweet, to look at how someone else from Jericho’s era handled it. In the outfit, he seemed very joyful, and he was walking through the throng to the trio’s theme song. When someone thinks they should walk out on their back, handing the torch to the new generation, it’s always a sign of a dignified veteran.
Jericho’s retirement plans aren’t going as planned… any more. It began out well at AEW, but now it seems that he’s having trouble being booked anyplace that meets his requirements, and he’s grown unhappy, overweight, and desperate.
That does it for this week. Thanks for stopping by. Don’t forget to check out the Putting It Bluntly: AEW Double or Nothing & WWE Money in the Bank reviews on my YouTube channel.
I’m taking the next week off!!! So I’ll see you on Monday, September 9th, for #AnotherWeekOfWrestling and Thursday, September 12th, for more #ThatsNotWrestling!
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